o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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