great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
