hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
not ubering you a puppy
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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