And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
