Who did Billy Mays play for?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
