And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
