Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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