I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
