I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
