It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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