I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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