do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
