Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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