okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
