whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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