wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
