that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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