YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
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It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I need water and some morals
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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