Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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