Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
