I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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