Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
