no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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