I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
