Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
We have so much sex to catch up on
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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