who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Someone signed my nipple.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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