Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
