HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
