I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
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