but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
