Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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