i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
