he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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