you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
