this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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