Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize