If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize