As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
