just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize