where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
As shirtless as possible
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
