very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
