that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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