i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
