Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
