my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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