and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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