These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
