I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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