Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize