I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
