got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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