defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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