He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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