And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Randomize
