Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
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