i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
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