Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
