Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
