what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
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I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
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holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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