I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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